Setting healthy boundaries

As a science enthusiast, I've always believed in applying science in philosophy. One of my favorite application is from bond formation in atoms. For an atom to form a bond, there should be a particular distance at which there is a desired force of attraction and repulsion. If the atoms get closer, there is repulsion because of the electrons and if they go further away, the force of attraction is not enough to form the bond.

There is a lot to learn from this peculiar behavior of atoms. Imagine humans as atoms. If we need to form a perfect bond with another human being (which I know everyone secretly craves for), we need to maintain the perfect distance between us. If we get too "close", conflicts are sure to arise and if we drift apart, you know nothings ever gonna happen! We need to give others their space and at the same time, we need to make sure that they know we're there for them whenever they need us. This task of "bond formation" can be achieved by simply setting healthy boundaries.

Some pointers for setting healthy boundaries:

1. First you, then others: We think just because that person is someone we love a lot, we have to listen to them. We have a natural tendency to think that it is our foremost duty. Excuse me! That person can be anyone- parents(I'm assuming you are older than 17 years . If not, then yes you should blindly believe your parents. They know better. ), sibling, best friend or a colleague. He/she doesn't have the right to decide how you live your life. They can give their honest opinions and advices, but at the end of the day, your decision should be independent of the consequences "they" would have to face because of your actions. See, you have to realize that not a single person will be there for you throughout your life. They will come and go. You have to live with your decisions your entire life. So live your life the way you want to!
   

2. Don't get too attached with anyone: This is something really important. When we start getting attached to someone, we get emotionally weak. Chances are we start picking up some of their habits- good or bad . We live our day, subconsciously, under their influence. And if that person betrays us, or moves to another city or worse- I may sound harsh but let's be practical, if that person dies, WE WILL BE BROKEN. We will fall apart. It takes a lot of time and courage to stand back again. I am sure everyone must have experienced this at least once in their life. So step back- a teeny bit. Take time to know yourself. Solitude is really important.
   

3. Make sure you don't interfere a lot: Do you have a friend who asks your opinion on every thing? "What should I wear to that party?" , "Should I post this?" , "Where should I go for shopping?", "Should I start hitting the gym?"....... OR are you that friend? Either way, this habit is TOXIC. It needs to be addressed at the earliest. Start taking up things on your own and stop advising someone on everything in their life.
   

4. Prioritize your day: Just writing your TO-DO list for the day solves many problems. Trust me. Don't let anyone break your day. See to it that you complete your list daily.
   

5. Clear communication: We all get into horrible loops most of the times about what others must be thinking about something we did. I believe in being honest irrespective of the consequences. You got into a conflict, go apologize and finish it off. You thinking all day about whose fault it is and who should apologize first is doing no good! You can't accept an invitation to a party, say "No". Saying no, is not bad. It is a skill hard learned but shows great self acceptance. Look, if they are not okay with the things you are gonna do or say, then they don't deserve to be in your life. Go chase your dreams. You can't be wasting your time!!!!!!

The day when all humans bond, will be the day when all wars, conflicts ,discrimination, crimes would be over. We have an entire universe (or universes, who knows!) to discover. It's high time we unite and start looking for aliens!!(Kidding........)

So yeah, I hope I managed to form a bond with you'll!.😅